Introspection and discovering my true self from within I’ve come to the conclusion that, we are all part of the same consciousness. My beingness goes far beyond the physicality and conditions of life to unlimited and renewable possibilities of energy. We are multi-dimensional beings. Beings of energy, frequency and vibration. We all are here trying to find the answers to these philosophical questions; who am I, why am I here and what is my purpose? What is the key to understanding life? Inner evolution has taught me an invaluable lesson in caring for myself these past 2 years. How can I help others if my cup is empty? Learning to surrender and free fall into God’s arms has freed me and is now healing my spirit which feeds my mind, and in turn heals my body.

While experiencing sound healing recently I was reminded that there is divine timing for everything. The universe is sending me impulses that I can only receive when I take the time to be still and listen. If I’m too busy efforting, then I miss the messages that my creator sends me. What if healing cannot take place because we aren’t allowing or accepting of the gifts we are given? Our timing and vibration must be cultivated in order to harmonize with our desires! During this healing I saw the image of a tree in the desert. It was interpreted as my tree of life. In the tree were two doves. When I researched the symbolism of the doves this is what I found.

Dove imagery can be heralding the end of a problematic cycle in your life, by announcing a time of new worlds and opportunities opening up to you. It can also be used as a symbol of a promise or covenant. In the bible, the dove is a reoccurring symbol that is used in multiple stories to represent the purity of Christ, or God’s promises. They represent a symbol of the Holy Spirit, Mother Mary, and peace, a divine messenger. The dove also embodies clarity, inspired thought, baptism, the waters of creation, and what I recognize as the celestial energy part of me.

What is energy? Energy is a part of us and all around us; it is the esoteric part of our being. Where does it come from? I learned about energy or the science of energy 17 years ago, but it wasn’t until lately that I began to question if I could manipulate that energy. Learning how to tap into my energy field has been the biggest eye-opening experience because we can’t see it smell it taste it or touch it, so how can we access that energy and use it to help us heal? If everything is energy, why not create something extraordinary? Let go of the past memories, regrets, of the tendency to think “if only I could change my encounters.” Simply accept what has happened since it can’t be changed anyway. Let go also of thoughts of the future. Don’t allow your mind to think about plans or projects. Observe your underlying feelings about the future. Let go of expectations and the anxiety that inevitably accompanies them. Be completely in the “here and now.” Then you will feel the deep peace which accompanies inner silence and gives us a sense of satiety.

If it’s true that we are never empty, what are you holding on to? Do we need to let go of past hurt or trauma? Carl Jung believed that what remains unconscious does not dissolve, but rather resurfaces in our lives as fate or fortune. “Whatever does not emerge as Consciousness,” he said, “returns as Destiny.” In other words, we’re more than likely to keep repeating our unconscious patterns until we bring them into the light of awareness. He further noted that whatever is too difficult to process does not fade away on its own, but rather is stored in our unconscious. Is fear sabotaging our energy, abundance, relationships, security, and behaviors? It’s all about healing the whole self, so how do I stop inviting fear, lack, anger from coming into my existence? What about nature?

We often forget that we are nature. Nature is not something separate from us. So, when we say we have lost our connection to nature, we’ve really lost our connection to ourselves! Healing comes from a profound place within, a sacred place. There we transcend daily life and find peace. Look within to find the inner self. Have you found your healing place? Syncing up with the oceans tide, I’m grounded and reconnected to nature. When my mind nourishes my body with carefree thoughts and feelings, my body returns to its natural state of happiness and from this tranquil place I’m able to re-claim the memory of who and what I really am. A spiritual being interrelated with the creative power of the universe, where there are unlimited possibilities and renewable energies!

It is easy to lose our way or question why we are here. Finding purpose is something I think we all strive to do but I would always get stuck on the why part. It wasn’t until deep meditation I found my sacred place. I found peace and was reunited with my creator. Learning to be thankful for every second I’m alive and given another day to make a difference in someone’s life! Thank you for your grace, wisdom and helping me to achieve a higher consciousness with you! Faith and trust set the stage for the Lord to help us, and it’s our own unbelief that keeps us from receiving from him what we need. We should endeavor to stop limiting God. All things are given unto us, but we still have to do the taking or receiving. The spirit has not withheld good from us; it is our own ignorance that causes us to encounter    fear in the first place.

Open my eyes so I might drink in all of life’s wonderment that surrounds me. Widen the vision of my unseeing eyes as to discover the beauty within everyone I meet. Give me perception to make me aware of life’s precious gifts that I pass by daily but seldom see. Allow me to recognize the heart that is much like my own and experience joy, harmony and peace with each passing day. Allow me to walk the spirit path and re-establish that trust with the infinite that resides inside. Help me to discover the new opportunities within, so that I can defrag, recalibrate and reboot my energy system with the passing of each glorious Sun! Namaste!

The ocean is a perfect representation of a bridge between the conscious and unconscious mind. The calmer the ocean indicates a feeling of peace and tranquility, whereas a turbulent ocean may indicate a resistance toward the connection between minds. The ocean is the symbolism of a mother, in psychology terms. It can help the dreamer recall a time where they were safe, secure and taken care of. There are many cultures that view the ocean as the origin of all life forms. The ocean is also a symbol of life itself.

Introspection and inner evolution have taught me an invaluable lesson in caring for myself this past year and a half. How can I help others if my cup is empty? Learning to surrender and free fall into God’s arms has freed me and is now healing my spirit which feeds my mind, and in turn heals my body! What are you doing today to heal your spirit? Being aware of what’s up in our body can be a vital way of adjusting to and managing our lives. Utilizing scanning or muscle testing is a great way to discern what area of living is out of balance so we can tip the scale towards well-being.

My journey began with a simple question: had I ever really created any love for myself, or was it hidden underneath a layer of false admiration for others? Through reflection and a mindful shift, I was able to rediscover my sacred space where self-love was buried. It was right where I had left it, perfectly hiding in plain sight, there in my heart! When I started to forgive myself and others for the shortcomings, I mistakenly saw, only then was I able to redirect my attention to new belief systems that would produce innovative and clarifying results.

Transcendence is the emergence and validation of our knowledge of being. Finding one’s true self. How can we attain this? What methodologies help us to achieve this state of being? Through my journey of mindfulness, I was introduced to meditation. A truly incredible modality that helps shift the autonomic system into a parasympathetic response. My body finds the resonance it needs through the frequency of silence. It defrags my body’s energy patterns, cleans them up and reboots or recalibrates my body’s energy system. Our spirit/ mind/body goes into alignment and gratitude. Our advanced nervous system depends on balancing our emotions, a stress less environment in order to create remission, which means to remember your mission! Self-regulation and healing support the body by getting us out of our own mind! Heal the inner experience so you can live in the outer world!

How do you describe something that is indescribable? Chasing that perfect moment riding the wave to the most transcendental peaceful place. The struggle is over and there is no more resistance. Emptiness no longer grabs my soul. Paradise is finding the peace within. I’ve ridden my wave. My life is changed forever, because it was the wave of a lifetime, but where am I now? What is my purpose? In searching for the meaning of life, I found God’s grace. A wave of light, liquid light, wave after wave of love. I’ve run out of things to ask forgiveness for and he continues to send unconditional love to me. Healing my whole self is a journey of self-love, that I have been searching for my entire life.

Have you caught your wave yet? I have found my perfect wave and continue to ride it every day! I’m flooded with God’s unconditional waves of love! My search has ended and what was once dis-ease is now replaced with peace, love and light!

One of my favorite movies is “Field of Dreams.” Maybe it’s the symbolism that the dreamer enters into what could be an abundant phase of life but has a problem that must be solved first. The field is being considered as an embodiment of maternal and fertility, the solidarity with the forces of nature. It might be that the key lesson here is that our journey is not just about us reaching our own essential healing, but also helping others to reach theirs.

Get busy! Get moving! Get on that frenzied hamster treadmill. Nothing robs the peace and joy from our lives more than constant busyness. That busyness for us may be veiled as some super-important drive for excellence, or some kind of way to work out our desires. But in the end, it comes down to just plain fear-driven, can’t-stop-moving, don’t-want-to-deal-with-it, got-to-please-everyone busyness. Is the belief that hard work to the point of stress, the answer to a more fulfilling life? Yes, a positive work ethic is necessary, but do you want to go beyond living in the moment narrowly focused on individual effort?

The more important question is how do we let go of fear and learn to trust in surrender and grace and follow the voice? A journey that may require much more than a leap of faith, it could be a walk that doesn’t call us to pursue our own passions or desires; rather, it calls us away from them. It calls us to mortgage those dreams, to sacrifice them, to risk them all for the sake of what the voice would have us pursue instead.

I grew up in a hard-working blue-collar family. We were brought up on the belief system that discipline, perseverance, the value of creating a plan, goals, laying out the milestones and then go to work executing what you had conceived, was the strategy to being successful. There came a point in my journey when I began to ask myself, “Is this as good as it gets?” “Is this it?” This can’t be the best I can do. There must be more. Then, the unimaginable happened. My thyroid went off the reservation. It was in overdrive and knocked the wind right out of my sails and literally out of my lungs. I was breathless. My life had become meaningless and I didn’t even realize what was happening. Not to mention, the spiritual erosion my daily distractions were causing and the physical damage that now was taking place. I had maxed out my human capabilities.

Then it dawned on me while lying exhausted one evening; you get introspective when things don’t work out the way you think they ought to. In times of suffering, the questions aren’t far behind. At first, I asked the typical, why me? But eventually, I began to ask different questions, what do I need to learn from this experience? Is God trying to tell me something? I could continue being frustrated, sick, and take life as it comes, maybe try desperately to regain control or just give up. My current methods to achieve happiness and success obviously weren’t working. Then, I discovered a spiritual philosophy and began to meditate. I learned how to call forth divine substance. The invisible force from which all things are created. Some might call it source energy or a vibration of what we want to manifest. This was a renaissance in conscious thinking! A new paradigm shift where I could let go of the beliefs that were holding me back! “The bridge between manifesting and surrender is in the willingness to define “what” we want and let go of “how” it shows up.”

Now, I had the power, skills and talents to manifest my desires. This was revolutionary to me and gave me infinite potential to create the life of my dreams and healing was not only possible but achievable. The only limitation in manifesting this was in my own mind. There are moments when inspiration and creativity go beyond anything I could have ever imagined. All I have to do is create the conditions, plant the seeds, and fertilize the soil where all of these experiences of grace can grow allowing me to live an extraordinary life!

Whether it is a corn field or a baseball field, finding redemption or another chance to engage in the game of life and live out your dreams; self-discovery is vital to living an authentic life. “Go the distance” with a passion for the game because you love it, not for the money or fame but for all we remember that is good!
“Is this Heaven?”
“It’s Iowa”
“Iowa?”
“Yeah.”
“I could have sworn it was Heaven.”
“Is there a Heaven?”
“Oh yeah…it’s the place dreams come true.”
“Maybe this is Heaven.”

What does it mean to be “In the Sand Trap?” If you play golf it means: “an artificial hazard on a golf course consisting of a depression containing sand.” When we step up to the tee to drive the ball down the fairway of life, we anticipate hitting the green, maybe even making a hole in one but, we all find ourselves in the sand trap now and then. Getting out of the sand takes perseverance and determination.

Is it a bit foolish to go through life knowing that the sand castles we’re building will eventually be swept up by the waves? Our instinct reminds us of this but, we endeavor to create our beautiful architecture in the sand with the understanding that we make the most of each day regardless of the outcome. It’s the realization that in this journey, the skill we achieve is really our true destination.

Sand is often used as a metaphor for the passing of time. As another year passes, with the anniversary of Mother’s Day and, my mother’s celebration in heaven, I wanted to focus on the hourglass being half full. It was after all, her passing that gave me life again. It reminds me that every moment, I have a small opportunity of time to choose a great attitude and, to live each day to its fullest. Creating a quality of life for me and everyone I meet, is my mission. It took losing her to open my closed heart to love and, ultimately live my authentic self.

My mother always said she was a realistic optimist, that was until the cancer came back for the 3rd time. She was my hero. Even in the darkest and lowest point of her life she still managed to see the positive in everything. My faith was rocked when she passed. I prayed for her pain and suffering to come to end and, I had resigned myself to that fact but, mostly I wanted her to be at peace. That was when I decided to have a conversation with God. I wanted to know why? What did her death accomplish other than creating such sadness in my life?

I didn’t expect an answer but, I received what I think was God’s response to my arrogant question. My positive life was beginning to unravel. What used to bring me joy, was no longer important. Even my family noticed, I wasn’t happy. I had crawled into my own sorrow and, things desperately needed to change. It wasn’t about me anymore, it was about how I could love others unconditionally. It was my first wakeup call!

Wisdom will come to you in the unlikeliest of sources, a lot of time through failure. When you hit rock bottom, remember this, while you’re struggling, rock bottom can also be a great foundation on which to build your sandcastles and grow. How are you living in the grand scheme of things? Don’t judge yourself! Show up early and, whatever you do, do it well! Do the right thing and, honor those who have gone before you!

Right now, I’m remembering our cottage on the Rappahannock River and, building my dreams in the sand. I can see my mom in her homemade apron and, I can smell the sweet aroma of her baking something delicious. She was always in the kitchen cooking her amazing pound cake or, a holiday meal fit for a king. Thanks mom for your unequivocal positive outlook and, teaching me the lessons of life, even though you are doing it from your sandcastle in heaven now!
Happy Mother’s Day!

What meaning might I derive from this old piece of wood that drifted into my life? Is there some intrinsic value here? Driftwood is defined as: “Wood that has been washed onto a shore or beach of a sea, lake, or river by the action of winds, tides or waves. It is a form of marine debris or tidewrack. In some waterfront areas, driftwood is a major nuisance.” Water is essential for all plant and animal life.

The symbolism of water has a universal undertone of purity and fertility. In some cultures, water is considered an aspect of wisdom, more specifically a higher wisdom that we may all aspire to mimic. The idea here is that water takes on the form in which it is held and moves in the path of least resistance. The wood might be a metaphor for creation, or the Universe, life or death, a tree, or maybe the Earth.

But what caused them to unite and why? Where was it going or drifting to? I believe it represents the eternal relationship between wood and water, forest and sea, water nourishing wood and wood releasing the power of water. It indicates the ever-present moment, which was once the past, now the present, future-wonderment and mystery all infused in the human psyche from the far-outer reaches of infinite life, that we call “the Universe.”

All this from a piece of driftwood? I am just now discovering what it means to be me. My thoughts during meditating sometimes don’t make sense until I let go of the physicality of the images and take a deeper gaze into its meaning. I remember why I kept this particular piece of driftwood for so many years. It came from a picture window that had individual panes, that housed many different pieces of driftwood. It was in a cottage, you arrived at from a dirt laced country road that held the most treasured memories. It was our home away from home. Every weekend, we all piled into the 1965 Chevrolet station wagon and headed to the Rivah. Translation: I’m from Virginia which sounds more elegant and we have a lot of Rivers; we love’em, live on ‘em and talk about ‘em with pride! Ok, it reminds me of my mom! She picked up most of the driftwood and placed them all in this picture window outlooking the Rappahannock River. She had a deep reverence for nature and saw such beauty in everything.

Maybe the take away here, is unconditional love. After all that is said and done, we learn from our parents. We hope our children will remember the little things that made our lives so special. I’m finding that when revisiting the past, I’m learning how to live in the present. The less and less I’m able to see my mom’s face, the less it hurts not having her here. Who would think something so insignificant as a piece of driftwood would bring such revelation to me about understanding the true meaning of how to achieve a higher consciousness.

As I continue my spiritual journey, the more I gravitate to be near water. Each time I listen to the ocean waves, it seems to be a representation of metamorphosis for me. The highpoint is finding the esoteric symbolism of water’s meaning, which has given me a new appreciation for emotion, intuition and the interconnected flow of energy between all things.

While meditating this morning, I was reminded of a parable about the pearl. “The pearl is the only “jewel” that is the result of a living organism growing as a response to irritation and it is removed from its place of growth to become an item of adornment!”

The pearl alone is beautifully formed through suffering in the heart of the oyster unlike a precious stone which must be cut and polished to reveal its clarity and beauty. The pearl is perfect as it comes from the oyster without having to refine it.

Understanding how to love the imperfect me was a powerful message I received recently after experiencing sound therapy. Embracing surrender and letting go of fear and control, which is a delusion that I’m in control in the first place. Jesus take the wheel is my new-found release and solution to unrealistic limitations I create and place on myself!

What exactly does this all mean? Interpretation is in the eye of the beholder. As for me, I believe that the meaning is about gaining wisdom. Learning to polish and refine my silver so that others might see God’s image reflected in me. The interesting fact that the pearl comes from irritation was my eureka moment. It is my defining moment of my own human experience in reflecting on my journey.

Self-awareness of my pain, injustices and suffering are all being used as an irritation which will show me how I’m doing so far in the grand scheme of things. The intensity of my own pain had made me unable to see beyond the wounds. Feeling a deeper compassion for someone else’s pain, only then could I be truly healed.

Meditation and prayer isn’t so I can handle the darkness, I do it, so I can handle the light. In response to humanity’s prayers, the force of light that is flowing in reply is overwhelming to our system. Are we emotionally ready to receive the miracles we deserve? Here is a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., “We need a quantitative change in our souls as well as a quantitative change in our lives.”

This poses the question, am I living my life at 100 percent? If I’m only at 70 percent, where is the other 30% going? Is that potential stored away until I’m ready to manifest it? How can I reclaim the possibilities I failed to utilize? Somewhere I lost the ability to grow in certain areas and this seems to have caused me to flat line. My intuitiveness or empathic-ness has been a blessing and a curse. Carrying the weight of the collective consciousness is suppressing my better self.

It’s no wonder I feel so emotionally drained! These are critical times and I sense I’m not the only one feeling this way. Now is the time to get sober! We need to awaken from the stupor of our past and regain our potential that hasn’t yet been applied. In the realm of consciousness every miracle we work, we do so to better us all. By demonstrating grace in every tragedy, we are lifted-up and create an authentic life worth living.

I was reading an article today that talked about kids and suicide and that there has been a 50% increase in clinical level depression between 2011-2015. I’m going out on a limb here, and tell you about my own experience, and what I have concluded about this horrible statistic. First, I have personal experience with depression. It started when I was a child. It was something we didn’t really talk about then. It was often suggested that I just learn to smile more. Was there a tendency towards depression? Probably! My brother was clinically depressed, and I had heard that an uncle was depressed but they just said he drank a lot. I had another person in my family who was diagnosed but I will not mention his name as I don’t have his permission. What did I find out was the common factor for the depression? We didn’t sleep well. I say that but, what I really mean is we slept very little.

You may be asking yourself, what does sleep loss have to do with depression? Everything! I began to research sleep. I wanted to find out what happened to the body when we don’t sleep. I was blown away with what I was reading. What if my depression, ADD, and allergies could all be attributed to sleep deprivation? So, I began to look at every aspect of my life. I started eating better, getting outside each day and took the TV out of my bedroom. Well, my husband didn’t like that! I stopped buying sodas and processed foods and both my husband and children were not happy! What happened? I started to finally sleep. I slept so well my health improved. Then I began to teach sleep at the University of Richmond. Yes, you read that right. I teach a sleep class. My brother asked me this question. “Don’t people know how to sleep?” Let me ask you, do you know how to sleep? The answer may be yes but a better question might be, do you sleep? Is the answer yes but you don’t feel rested when you wake up? Then guess what, you aren’t really sleeping! Your body isn’t repairing, replenishing and rejuvenating because if it was, you would feel energized and ready to start your day.

Let’s say you feel great in the morning but run out of energy during the day. Again, you need to look at your sleeping habits and see if you are truly getting into a deep sleep each night. Let’s get back to children and what is happening to their sleep. Scientists are concerned that we are putting ourselves in a perilous situation due to lack of sleep. I met Russell G. Foster, a Head Professor of the Sleep and Circadian Neuroscience and Nuffield Laboratory of Ophthalmology at Oxford University at a convention in 2015. Part of his studies are on alternative methods to investigate the adolescent circadian delay, as well as the impacts on health and mental health in the future. They are finding that asking an adolescent to get up at 7 am to start school at 9 am leads to a significant amount of sleep deprivation. This in combination with 24/7 access to social media, and abnormal light exposure from various electrical devices which emit a low-level light in the blue wavelength has been shown to have a direct, alerting effect on the biological clock which may interfere with the process of going to sleep.

What about the mental health aspects of sleep deprivation? Emil Kraepelin, a German psychiatrist (1856 -1926) noted in his 1883 textbook that abnormal sleep patterns and mental health are linked. Since the 1970’s the Sleep/Clock disruption in schizophrenia has been viewed merely as the by-product of antipsychotic medication. Abnormal sleep in schizophrenia is often dismissed on the basis of lack of work. Do the networks in the brain that generate normal sleep and mental health overlap? Dr. Foster and his team predict that genes linked to mental illness will also affect sleep/clocks. Genes linked to the sleep/clock will also affect mental illness. Sleep disruption may precede a clinical diagnosis of mental illness. Reduction of sleep disruption should improve the level of mental illness. I understand that more research is going into sleep deprivation’s relationship to mental illness which is raising questions on which condition to address first.

While many studies have examined the association between insomnia and depression, no studies have been evaluated utilizing these associations (1) within a narrow time frame, (2) with specific reference to acute and chronic insomnia, and (3) using polysomnography. In a present study by Nuffield Department of Neurosciences at Oxford, the association between insomnia and first-onset depression was evaluated taking into account these considerations: The design used a model integrating mixed variables. It was in an Academic research laboratory. The participants were: Fifty-four individuals (acute insomnia & normal sleepers) with no reported history of a sleep disorder, chronic medical condition, or psychiatric illness. The transition from acute to chronic insomnia is indicated by baseline differences in sleep architecture that have, in the past, been ascribed to Major Depression, either as heritable traits or as acquired traits from prior episodes of depression. The present findings suggest that the “sleep architecture stigmata” of depression may actually develop over the course transitioning from acute to chronic insomnia.

I need to only ask my students how they feel after they have pulled an All-Nighter. I have heard that some feel angry or have trouble concentrating and yes, they can even be depressed. My hope is that other organizations or departments like the Nuffield Department of Clinical Neurosciences will take a closer look into sleep deprivation and how we can help our children learn to sleep. The best advice I can think of is to have a conversation with them. Show them the studies. Talk about your own experiences with sleep loss and how it has impacted your life. My heart goes out to all the moms. They are so sleep deprived themselves and our children see that. Don’t take the adage that you can make it up on the weekend. It is not possible to make up for lost sleep but your sleep drive will be greater than staying awake so get your rest. For all those working the night shift, I hope that it is something that will change for you in the future. Just remember “The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”

When I think about nutrition I typically think of food. Not just any food but super nutrients, minerals and antioxidants that will nourish and repair my body. Fourteen years ago, my obsession was with energy. Where did my energy go and how do I get it back? Changing my diet was my first order of business but I still didn’t seem to have the vitality required to sustain daily living.

In my search for energy I began to look at sleep. It was something that eluded me or wasn’t fulfilling enough. Eventually prescriptions were implemented but I became zombielike and couldn’t function as a human being. Was there something else that was interfering with my entering the land of nod each night?

Increasing my knowledge of man-made electromagnetic fields seemed to be a crucial part of answering that question. What if we have disrupted the foundation of life and lowered our vibrational field. I believe we have forgotten the basic laws of our universe and divorced ourselves from nature.

Could there be a remedy to help reconnect and bolster our natural energy system? To restore our energy field back to its vibrancy we must get energy nourishment from a magnetic field. The Earth is a big magnet but it’s geomagnetic field has diminished. The Kenko Sleep System by a company called Nikken is like a magnetic atmospheric chamber. It helps you to restore back to a natural energetic frequency. You are reconnecting back to the world itself.

My family and I were on a trip to Chincoteague Island to watch the wild ponies and all I could think about was I lost my Barbie doll’s dress!  Of course, I was a child but how many of us hold onto memories unknowingly and unwillingly? This was not the defining moment for me but instead it is a reminder of the events in my life that have left an invisible scar that created my sadness.

As a child, I was very skinny and had buck teeth. I loved that my mom always emphasized that beauty began on the inside and I was beautiful in her eyes. However, it did not help when I was being teased at school. Don’t hide behind the pole because we can’t see you or eat wonder bread it helps build strong bodies 12 different ways (if you didn’t grow up in the 60’s you may not get this reference).

What on Earth is your problem? Why can’t you smile? You would think this would all change as I got older. I was lucky enough to get through high school. I remember crying a lot and thinking there must be something wrong with me. College on the other hand was easier but I still felt as though I was a small fish in a big pond. How do people muster up a smile when they feel like they don’t belong?

Having my children has been the greatest accomplishment in my life. That surely would cause me to smile, right? It did and I was living the dream or so I thought. I enjoyed watching them grow up and I loved attending all their sports games, dance recitals, parties and seeing them reach all those milestones but something was still missing. It was in my late thirties when I started to feel my life slipping away. Then I lost my mother and that was the final straw. Life began to spiral out of control.

Don’t you just love friends who tell you to snap out of it. Maybe they tell you to go out with them and they can make you feel happy. Funny how they were the ones that didn’t stick around long enough to support me in the tough times. What about medication? I did that and 10 pills later I had gained over 75 pounds and felt worse. What else could I do? I must find a solution to help me crawl back out of the depths of despair and get my smile back. I was so consumed with my unhappiness that I couldn’t see the forest for the trees. I understand now that I had to go through these experiences to live a purposeful life, to be useful, to be honorable and to be compassionate.

Today I have my smile and it will never leave me again. I have found out how to cope when life gets too heavy to bear. I have made it my mission to help others that have lost their smile and think that no one can help them. I have created a system and provide the tools and resources to help those who are suffering with the same feeling of being lost. This journey has given me a bird’s eye view of what others might be experiencing. I have the confidence that comes from living a life with purpose and I now offer hope to those who feel hopeless.

True healing has many different facets. We might picture spiritual answers taking place in some revered temple or church-like structures, something mystical, or some far-away place. But these kinds of profound interventions can happen much closer to home. My mission statement is to empower others to implement self-care for themselves and their families. My wish is to give others hope so they can rise above their daily challenges and manifest a life that will promote balance and restoration to their daily living. Where does healing take place?

Could sleep somehow be the one place we forget to look? As you lie down at night are their certain demons that revisit you? Maybe it’s a childhood memory that keeps you from entering a good night’s slumber. We feel stuck as if we are in a revolving door of emotional pain. A dark night of continual self-loathing of past mistakes or not facing the discomfort of bad experiences can keep us from our rest. We are being held back because of an unwillingness to forgive and release negative energy. Letting go of anger and allowing love to enter our heart helps us to find peace.

How can I understand myself better and heal the wounds of decades of pain? I had what I thought was a good childhood. My memories began to focus on the times that I felt ridiculed and alone. It is not always fun to face our past. The actual events were probably not any worse compared to others but I didn’t live up to my personal best. The shame remains in my mind like a toxin and I live with regrets that seem to stay at bay until nightfall. When it is quiet or still is the time my mind starts to replay my cowardly efforts to handle the monsters that would often emerge at night.

Might the answer be in how I view myself? I understand that my future doesn’t depend on what I did or didn’t do in my 20’s, 30’s or even 40 years ago. Who I am now, is what I think at this very moment. I can be what I wasn’t before. It’s not only what was in the past is now gone but more importantly the lessons of my past, some of which are very painful. I know that I may need to relive some of those lessons where I failed to learn from them. How I respond emotionally is how I will grow as a person but also how I respond to others negativity will help me to let go of emotions that keep me from entering the land of nod at night.

In my search for solutions I knew how important it was to address the real issue keeping me awake which was anxiety. Being able to calm down was the single most important aspect of how I could facilitate healing.  After several months of getting the quality sleep my body needed the depression was almost nonexistent. Everything else was so much easier to address now. Decisions became less complicated and I was my old self again. I hope this blog will give you insight about the next time your thoughts decide to delay sleep or your robbed of a tranquil night’s sleep. Maybe you just needed to hear that you are not the only one that has these thoughts as you start to go to sleep. The good news is there are people like me waiting to hear from you so we can help you on your journey to heal.

                                                         From the desk of Lisa Healthy

Having Energy and Abundantly Living the Healthy You!