5 Jun 2020

Transformation – Finding Courage

Posted by Lisa

After Hitting Rock-bottom

We just want the pain to stop. How do I make the pain go away? Allow myself to cry it all out and purge the anguish. I know that something bigger than me is going to come out of all this suffering. Why do we have to suffer, or do we? I remember praying so that I could achieve a higher consciousness with my creator. This was when I was in the throes of my thyroid revolution, and my body was being controlled by an invisible enemy. I wanted to “wake up” and see through my own mind all the falseness that it was clinging to. To envision true knowledge, that which lies outside our minds, not in it. But I had already tapped into the collective energy around me and wound up taking the wrong road, a downward spiral, and ended up mining the database of human unconsciousness. I had pulled in all the frequency of the suffering that was happening on the planet. I began to question everything I had been taught, believed in, even the path I was on. Was this my journey? Did I choose this? Did I attract this? There is a quote that says, Fear and it Will Appear.” By placing a continual emphasis on avoiding what we fear, we call it to mind over and over again. Like a persistent mantra, or a focal point for meditation, it becomes an old software program that limits our happiness and freedom. Fear can prevent us from doing what we would like or need to do, because we construct elaborate “what-ifs” or justifications around engaging in life.

So, what is the secret behind letting go of fear? It definitely surprised me. On some level, we subconsciously want or expect anything that we are afraid is going to happen. Not on a conscious level but subconsciously. When we can welcome this understanding, we can release it. Why would I want to invite something I do not want? When we see something in the world that we don’t like, we often think to ourselves, “I hope that doesn’t happen to me” or, “I hope that never happens again.” What our mind hears and pictures of course, is the fear happening as though we had actually had the thought, “I want this to happen to me.” Thus, our creative energy starts flowing in that direction. Some might call this the “Law of Attraction.”

Once we have gotten over the shock of the fact that we somehow want a negative thing to happen it is quite easy to let go of that fear, because consciously it’s not truly what we want. There is a false sense of security that comes from preparing for what we don’t want to happen to the uncertainty that comes from not knowing what’s going to happen. Even if what we know what’s going to happen will not provide a positive outcome. So, we may be preparing for a disaster, but we may also be bringing the disaster about through our inner and outer preparations. Whenever we worry, we are holding in our mind what we don’t want and that is what we tend to get.

My phone was ringing, but did I have the courage to answer it? My true self was calling me. My old identity was dissolving as was the darkness. The light dispels the darkness. There was a mutiny afoot and my heart was now in charge. There was a brief bereavement for the death of my egoic mind, but this was an imposter pretending to be me. It was time to let go of all judgment, negativity, and the dissolution of fear. I had made my choice to live in the present, the here and now. To dwell in this moment rather than in time. Time and pain are inseparable. The choice begins when you disidentify from the mind, and the conditional patterns you’ve be living in. I had been unconscious for so long that my mind was conditioned by the past and continued to re-create it. Therefore, I would relive the past repeatedly.

Our past conditioning creates this wheel of false beliefs that keeps us prisoner in these mind stories, but this is temporary. It was all that I knew, and it was familiar, like an old friend even though it was painful. The known is ironically safe and the unknown is dangerous because we have no control over it. Maybe that is why my mind dislikes the present. Present moment awareness creates a gap between the stream of our minds continuum, which creates a gap in the past. Nothing new and creative can penetrate our world except through this space gap of infinite possibilities. Were these mind patterns learned in childhood? Was there a perception of unworthiness and that I needed to be punished?

How can I break free of the untruth I had been living? Awareness is the Light through the storm of the mind. The moment I allowed the Light to naturally come in, I realized that there was no more resentment and I became conscious. We as a collective consciousness need to be compassionate towards this illness of being unconscious that we all suffer from. We cannot forgive ourselves or others as long as we derive our sense of self from the past. Only by accessing the power of the present now experience, which is our self-empowerment, can there be true forgiveness. It destroys the false sense of who you thought you were. How will you know when you have surrender to this power within? When you no longer need to ask the questions.

Freedom is where God/Truth and our hearts lie. Not in the bondage of the ideas or boxes the mind clings to and endlessly creates. You stop moving outward like the growing branches of a tree. Instead you go back down towards to the roots, where you find the origin of the tree itself. You begin to unlearn instead of learn. You discard outdated programs, instead of collecting more data to substantiate the old system’s programing. When you get to the root, you find what is permanent, and you find Home. It cannot be found in any idea, your story or someone else’s story. It surpasses all of them. It is the grounding of our being and nothing can change it or keep you from it. It’s not hiding from you; it will always be there and has always been there. Your desire to know Truth is your true Self calling you Home again. The question is: Will you pick up the phone and answer the call?

Leave a Reply

Message:

  • About Me

    Lisa Healthy Hazelgrove

    Lisa Healthy Hazelgrove

    Wellness Education with a side of Energy

    Health & Wellness Educator that has a passion for educating others on how to create balance in their lives so that the body can heal itself naturally. I have been in the Wellness Industry for 17 years and specialize in nutrition and sleep. My focus is on empowering others to take control of their health and in 2008 I began teaching as a Wellness Instructor at the University of Richmond. My health journey began 17 years ago when I was on 10 prescribed pills a day, had no energy and was 70 lbs heavier. I decided to empower myself and take a proactive approach towards my life and create a wellness home for myself and my family.

  • Follow me on Twitter

  • Lisa Healthy